i can bullshit my way through repetitive conversations about school, work, and girls i've lost interest in but thats to imply this disdain isn't mutual in fact, if you liked me thatd be more unusual and historically speaking i've always preferred that illusion see, i've a book at home filled to the brim of my self doubt, my failures, and personal sins laying bare on my nightstand begging for eyes not my own so if you'd prefer to have a less pampered conversation id have to take you there cause, well, that book it never really leaves home unless i sing with that being said its getting late and i didnt see your car out there oh, no? no... no really its... its my mistake see i should've known you'd have your ride prepared i just wasnt sure of your situation i saw your stare; it looked similarly vacant and I must admit you just look so pretty when they sun goes down~ :) i just figured that we could discuss that feeling of never being quite good enough but keeping my head high for the sake of the loved ones I choose to keep around went to the doctor said im depressed he said go to the circus, boy its got a week left in town. and while you're there keep your eyes out for pagliacci he'll have you in stitches. i turned and said "doctor, I am pagliacci the clown"

I dreamt I was a dog, living life in cool colors and shades of gray then I chased down a cat in my yard and they mistook me for a stray. I yelled “No I’ve got a home, sir, you’ve got me all wrong. It was her; trespassing and defiling my lawn. My collars back at home, master’s worried about me,” but they locked me in a cage on cold concrete. 2 days later I had made my escape and ran home with such speed, but what I found hurt me worse than that knife through my tail. Master bought a newer, younger me and I thought “How strange..” Shook off the rain; my paws were soaked. I felt so plain, unlovable, like a big joke. I spent that whole night under my neighbors porch and whimpered myself to sleep then the cat marched on up, saw me sleeping in her spot, and nestled up right next to me. She said not a word and we watched the rain fall I thought “better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.” I embraced her warm fur overlapping my wet coat then I woke up to remember I was still all alone. It’s so bitter outside. The morning breeze feels so cold. Yesterday the sun shout out warm rays of gold, but today the snow falls and when it falls, it falls slow but I’ve got work soon so I should really go. You know it’s so strange the way life moves on. Things that take years to build in a bad day could all be gone. I am afraid of everything especially your calls but if you called, I’d pick up and you’d talk and I’d say nothing at all. You love like you live and I live strong, persistent, and true. No sense harboring hate, from gray skies come the brightest of blues. I’m the most positive pessimist that you’ve ever met, and our hearts pump these gorgeous shades of velvet and red, and I’ve thought about what they’d look like on my bathroom floor, but if I’m not a fan of life, I can’t imagine I’d enjoy death anymore. It’s so strange, now that I’ve awoke. I’ve felt so changed since morning broke. Yeah I’ve felt so strange since the last time we spoke. I can’t shake the shame, these lumps in my throat. Yeah I’ve felt so strange since the last time we spoke. Rather than place the blame, I’ll swallow my pride until I choke. There’s different routes and rates at which we all seem to grow, and if I must, I supposed I’ll find my route on my own.

ask disney

i think id rather burn out than slowly fade with the rest starting to think lifes a little too short to not smoke any cigarettes as it turns out i'm a little more than depressed i'm a small and creeky stretcher in a speeding ambulette im the tires 2000 miles from bursting im the broken passenger seat i'm the possum now lying dead in the road now cooking in the summer heat im the crushed pack of newports in the dying mans bloody coat i was once damp with pain, but now im soaked pyramus come out to play i'm the lion you think ate your wife but im also the crack that first taught you her name thisbe dont be foolish my dear if I wanted you dead, if i craved your flesh you'd have no chance to run no time to shed your tears but eyes lie and ears turn deaf the mulberry fruit is dark and its leaves spread to absorb the light the mulberry tree is smart and my veins are stained and send out my pain the mulberry's in my heart but i can feel it in my lungs so i'll need a cigarette and a spark